Russian Cosmonauts Lost In Space!

Space. The final frontier. If you’ve seen it in movies or by looking up at the sky during the nighttime, you’ve probably noticed how big it is. How does anyone find their way around up there? Well apparently, it’s easier to get lost in space than you may think.

During the height of the space race between the United States and Russia both countries where determined to get a man into space first. But it’s possible that in the rush to get to the stars, someone may have forgot to bring a map on some of the trips.

Tonight ladies and germs we’ll dive into a mystery that the Russian government may poison us with plutonium for telling you. The mystery of the missing Russian Cosmonauts.  

The Space Race

The Space Race is what the period between 1955-1972 came to be known as. It saw both the Soviet Union and the U.S. pushing their scientific resources to the fucking limit; as they tried to determine whether communism or democracy was better equipped for strapping civilians to explosives and blasting them into orbit.

For a while, it looked like the answer might actually be communism, The Red Wave was relentless in their pursuit of the beyond. In 1957, the Soviets launched the first satellite into orbit, and in 1961, Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space.

As you can imagine, recently elected President Kennedy is pretty pissed off about all this. He gathers his top advisors on space and his top science nerds and is all ‘Hey guys what gives? How’d they beat us?’ But the apparent success of the Soviet program was hiding a few dark secrets.

Rewind a little bit in 1960, a Soviet rocket ignited on the launching pad, killing at least 78 of the ground crew. In 1961, just before Yuri Gagarin’s space flight, a Soviet cosmonaut was killed when a devastating fire erupted inside an oxygen-rich training capsule.

In 1967, another cosmonaut was killed when the parachute on his space capsule failed to open. Yuri Gagarin himself would die a year later while training in a fighter jet, adding another name to the long list of fatalities associated with the Soviet space program.

But there have long been allegations that these publically known fatalities are only a small part of the total number of people who died. In fact, some have even argued that a number of cosmonauts were... lost in space.

Lost in Space

In 1960, science-fiction author Robert Heinlein reported that while traveling in the USSR, he met Red Army cadets who told him that there had recently been a manned space launch. This launch capsule, the Korabl-Sputnik 1, experienced a mechanical failure when the guidance system steered it in the wrong direction. This made retrieval of the capsule impossible, and the Korabl-Sputnik 1 was stranded in orbit around the Earth. Robert was shocked by this discovery. So much so that he began a life of cocaine addicted chaos.

Robert needed cocaine. Couldn’t function without. He new the drug would kill him if he didn’t get clean. He was flat out addicted. After using cocaine on a regular basis, some users will become addicted. When the drug is discontinued immediately, the user will experience what has come to be known as a "crash" along with a number of other cocaine withdrawal symptoms, including paranoia, depression, exhaustion, anxiety, itching, mood swings, irritability, fatigue, insomnia and an intense craving for more cocaine, and in some cases nausea and vomiting. Some cocaine users even lose their minds completely.

The Soviets officially claimed the launch was an unmanned test flight, but according to Heinlein based on his info from the cadet, there might have been a cosmonaut inside. To lend some evidence to Heinlein’s theory, two Italian amateur radio operators allegedly picked up a number of radio transmissions that they claimed were from doomed Soviet space launches.

Achille and Giovanni Judica-Cordiglia, a pair of brothers from Turin, claimed that they began monitoring Soviet space program transmissions in 1957, and that these transmissions prove Yuri Gagarin wasn’t actually the first man in space. We were able to track down the brothers families and they had an old journal of the Giovanni’s. We scoured it and found a page titled “SPACE TRANSMISSION 1957” It’s short and also in Italian but we’ve translated it for you here:

“Alive please… outer orbit.. Sticky.”

Man… But if Yuri Gagarin wasn’t the first man in space who was? Now this may sound crazy, but it is actually possible that one of these alleged cosmonauts who where shot into space and got lost cold still be up there, ALIVE, today.

It has been well documented that Russians supplied their cosmonauts with enough high quality meat jerkies to possibly last as long as 40 years. This in conjunction with the fact that these cosmonauts could have steered their way towards a new planet, leaves us with the possibility that they live to this day. (Speculate)

A Mysterious Recording is Received

In November of 1960, Achille and Giovanni claimed to pick up an S.O.S. transmission in Morse code coming from a Soviet spacecraft. Based on the transmissions, they determined that the craft was moving away from Earth instead of orbiting it, which meant that the Soviets had accidentally launched their cosmonauts deep into space. The brothers eventually made nine such recordings they claimed were emergency transmissions from Soviet cosmonauts being launched away from Earth.

In one of the recordings, a woman’s voice can be heard saying in Russian that she can see flames and asking mission control if her ship is about to explode. If the recordings are real, then it means that the first woman in Space was actually launched by the Russians. If the recordings are real, it also seems the achievement did not end well for her.

The Soviets denied all of these allegations, and while these guys have always had a habit of covering up anything that might make the Iron Curtain look like a bunch of jamokes, there are a few good reasons to believe them in this case. For instance, the Luna Probes had no room to fit the cosmonauts who supposedly asked to be fired into the Moon’s surface. The Korabl-Sputnik 1 had no re-entry shield, which suggests that there were never any plans for the capsule to survive the trip.

The Book Starman Tells All

The Book Starman by Jamie Doran and Piers Bizony tells the true story of a friendship between two cosmonauts, Vladimir Komarov and Yuri Gagarin. According to the book, there was a plan to dock two Soviet spaceships in orbit, on the 50th anniversary of the October revolution in 1967, and despite Gagarin's objections the mission was not postponed. Komarov accepted the mission telling the ground control officials he knew he was going to die and that if he refused to fly, then the backup pilot, Yuri Gagarin, would die in his place. While in Space, Soviet premier Alexei Kosygin called on a video phone to tell him he was a hero. Once the Komarov began to orbit Earth the mechanical failures began: the antennas didn't open properly, power was compromised, and navigation proved difficult. According to the authors of the book Starman, his last words were recorded as him cursing mission control for sending him off to his death on a premature spaceship.

But did that happen? Vladimir Komarov died following re-entry, officially due to parachute failure on landing.

 But What About the Moon Mission?

Some sources claim that just before the historic Apollo 11 flight to the moon, the Soviets undertook an adventurous attempt to beat the Americans.  c

Technically the Soviets did manage to land a probe on the Moon a couple hours before the American landing; it was unmanned and it crash-landed, resulting in them being quiet about the mission.

Benjamin Potesky